Each year since 1956 a bunch of European countries submit (horrifically bad) songs into a pan-European (plus Israel) contest called Eurovision, which is broadcast all over Europe and according to Wikipedia is one of the longest-running television programs ever. This year, Exurovision was held in Baku, which is the capital of Azerbaijan, a country you may be familiar with through its appearance in the Peirce Brosnan Bond movie “The World is Not Enough“. Although most of the songs entered into the contest are truly the dregs of the global music industry (Ex: San Marino’s 2012 entry, The Social Network Song ), there are occasionally a few acceptable songs. The following is a personal ranking of the best five songs of this years contest, complete with their official contest rankings:
1) Sweeden: “Euporia” by Loreen – Eurovision 2012 winner, and winner in my heart too – Catchy dance-y tune, simple performance and no stupid gimmicks (an Eurovision rarity)
2) Ukraine : “Be My Guest” by Gaitana – 15th place – I would consider visiting Ukraine if it looks and sounds like this music video. I don’t think this is representative of the country, though. A fun, summery dance track.
3) Ireland: “Waterline” by Jedward – 19th place – Hot Irish identical twins. Funny hairdos. Catchy beat which will grow on you until you find yourself humming it at inopportune times. See previous post on Jedward for more info.
4) Iceland: “Never Forget” by Greta Salome and Jonsi – 20th place – Yes, that is the Jonsi of Sigur Ros fame. No, this is not his first Eurovision entry (the previous one, in 2004 was way worse). This song is a testament to patriotism, because I can’t figure out any other reason Jonsi would agree to be associated with a song like this. Listen to it in Icelandic here.
5) Cyprus: “La La Love” by Ivi Adamou – 16th place – Some of the stupidest lyrics I have ever heard in my life. Good to listen to at the gym, though.
For the curious, or for the deaf, the number two song was a group of old Russian grandmothers singing this (no, that is not a joke, Europeans and music judges actually ranked that as the second best song in the competition), third place went to a Serbian dude singing a boring ballad in Serbian, fourth place to the host country, Azerbaijan, with a boring ballad in English and fifth place to Albania for a boring song in Albanian.